Stay Interviews: Talk to Employees Before They Resign

A Stay Interview guide for managers and HR: how it differs from a 1-on-1, questions that get real answers, an opening script and how to follow up.

Strong performers on your team rarely send clear signals before the day they resign. By the time you see the letter, it's too late, and all you can do is an exit interview to learn for next time. A Stay Interview flips this order: you talk to them while they're still here, listen to what keeps them, what's starting to make them hesitate, and act before they've mentally left.

What is a Stay Interview, and how is it different from a 1-on-1?

Weekly 1-on-1s usually focus on immediate work, such as project status and blockers. A Stay Interview asks things rarely said in meetings: Why are you still here? If you left one day, what would the reason be? What would change your mind? It checks the relationship between the person and their work and company, not the work itself.

Prepare before the conversation

• Frequency: many organisations start with once or twice a year, and talk more often with key talent
• Time and place: set aside 30 to 45 minutes in a closed room, not an open desk
• Who leads it: the direct manager, who understands the work context and can actually fix problems. HR helps design questions and follow up
• Tell them in advance that this is not a performance review, to reduce suspicion

Opening script

Today isn't about work status or your review. I'd like to hear what makes you want to keep working with this team, and what would make your work better if we fixed it. Please be candid; it won't affect your evaluation.

Five questions that get real answers

Questions should be open-ended, not yes-or-no, and should not sound like an evaluation form.

1. Which part of your work makes you most eager to dive in?
2. If we could fix one thing, which would improve your work immediately?
3. The last time you thought about looking for a new job, what triggered it?
4. If another company contacted you today, what would make you listen?
5. Where do you want to grow in two years, and are we taking you in that direction now?

Rules while listening

• Listen long, answer short, and don't get defensive while they talk
• Note events and actual words, not your own interpretation of their feelings
• Follow up with "Could you give me an example?" when an answer is still vague

Example: a sales team at a distribution company

A sales manager talks with their top performer and learns that what wears them out isn't the target but duplicate reports every evening. The manager merges the reports into one within that month and agrees on a path to leading a sub-team within the following year. (A hypothetical example for illustration.)

After the talk: follow up so it doesn't become a ritual

The fastest way for a Stay Interview to destroy trust is to talk and then go silent. If that happens twice, next time people will only say safe things.

• Within a few days, send the employee a summary to confirm you understood correctly
• Separate quick fixes, such as tools and schedules, from structural issues, such as career paths and pay
• Agree on what you'll do and by when. Don't overpromise, and don't go silent
• Track actions person by person, not just at team level

Money is often the easiest reason to say out loud, but not always the real one. Growth or the relationship with the manager may be hiding underneath. Read Why Top Talent Leaves before interpreting what you hear, and if you're considering a new offer, see Should You Make a Counteroffer.

People don't quit out of the blue. They quit after months of accumulated silence.

How to start in your team

1. Start with your own team; no need to launch a big program
2. Pick the person you'd most regret losing and schedule them first
3. Use the script and five questions above, and note answers faithfully
4. Send a summary and fix at least one quick-win issue
5. Once you've covered the whole team, gather recurring themes and build on them with a systematic approach to reducing attrition, comparing with insights from Exit Interviews

Managers who aren't yet confident with open-ended questions can practise with experienced people through Mentors on Plants.work or explore leadership courses in partner courses.