Giving and Receiving Feedback Constructively at Work

The SBI formula for feedback that is clear without hurting, example phrases for Thai workplaces, and how to receive feedback without getting defensive.

After a meeting, your boss walks over, says “this isn't quite okay yet”, and leaves. You do not know what is wrong, what to fix, or whether they were simply in a bad mood. On the other side, when you need to tell a junior that their work missed the mark, you may soften it so much that they never realise they were being corrected. Both come from the same gap: we were never taught to give and receive feedback in a structured way.

What constructive feedback is

Constructive feedback is information about a specific action that helps the other person decide what to keep doing or change. It is not a judgment of who they are, and it is not vague praise to keep the mood pleasant.

• Specific: refer to a real event, not “you seem unfocused lately”
• Timely: say it within a few days, while both of you remember the details
• Forward-looking: end with what could be done differently next time

Give feedback with the SBI formula

SBI stands for Situation, Behavior, Impact. It helps you raise difficult points without interpreting anyone's character.

Situation: which event

Be clear about time and context, for example “during the client wrap-up meeting on Tuesday”.

Behavior: what they did

Describe what you saw or heard, not what you assume they thought. Say “the numbers on slide 4 did not match the file we sent the client” instead of “you were careless”.

Impact: what it caused

Explain the effect on the work, the team, or the client, for example “the client asked twice, and we had to send a corrected file that evening”.

Then invite the other person in: “How do you see it? How can we prevent this next time?” Asking turns criticism into joint problem-solving.

A full example

“About the client wrap-up meeting on Tuesday: the numbers on slide 4 did not match the file we sent, so the client asked twice and we had to send a corrected file that evening. I would like to understand what happened, and how we can check numbers before sending next time.” It takes less than a minute to say, yet it is far clearer than “be more careful”.

Adapting to Thai workplace culture

Many Thai colleagues care deeply about face and relationships. That does not mean being so indirect that nobody understands. It means choosing the place and the approach carefully.

• Give criticism one to one, not in a LINE group or in the middle of a meeting
• Praise can be public, and it should be just as specific, for example “your one-page summary helped the client decide faster”
• When giving feedback to your boss, ask first, for example “May I share one perspective on this project?”, then talk about the impact on the work, not their style
• Avoid the praise, criticism, praise sandwich once people can see it coming, because the praise starts to sound fake. Praise and criticise separately, based on real events

Good feedback is about what people do, not who they are.

Receiving feedback without getting defensive

When criticised, our bodies react as if under attack, and the first urge is to explain or justify. Try this sequence instead.

1. Listen to the end. Do not interrupt or respond right away. Take notes if you can.
2. Ask for clarity, for example “Could you give me one example where you saw this?”, to turn a broad comment into something fixable.
3. Say thank you. Thanking someone does not mean you accept every point; it shows you are open.
4. Give yourself time. If you disagree, “Let me think about it and come back to you” beats arguing while emotional.
5. Close the loop. Later, tell them what you changed. They will be more willing to give you feedback again.

Listening skills sit at the heart of this. Read more in Active Listening: learning to really listen.

How to start practising this week

1. Pick one specific piece of praise you want to give a colleague and deliver it using SBI
2. Pick one small issue that has been bothering you and write down S, B and I before you talk
3. Ask one teammate for feedback with a specific question, such as “Was anything in the report I sent yesterday confusing?”
4. Notice where you feel the urge to justify yourself when criticised, so you catch it next time

If you lead a team and want to focus on developing your people, read How to give feedback that helps your team grow, and to build your communication skills further, browse partner courses on the courses page.