How to Ask for a Referral from Someone Inside the Company Without Making It Awkward

How to ask an insider to refer you for a role: choosing who to ask, making it easy for them to pass you on, sample messages, and how to follow up and say thanks.

You spot a job you really want and remember that a senior from university works at that company. Part of you wants to message them for a referral. Part of you worries it looks like using connections or that you will be a nuisance. That hesitation is normal. The good news is that a referral request done well is not a burden. Many companies run employee referral programmes precisely because they want candidates an insider can vouch for.

What is a referral?

A referral is when an employee passes your name or resume directly to HR or the hiring manager. Some companies have an internal form, others just forward an email or message. What you gain is a better chance that a person actually opens your application instead of it sinking in the pile. A referral does not guarantee the job. You still go through the same selection as everyone else.

Who to ask

People who really know you

Former colleagues, seniors you did activities with, people who have seen your work. They can speak about you with confidence, which carries more weight than someone who simply forwards a file.

People you know through your network

Alumni from your faculty, people you met at a seminar, or someone a friend introduced. With this group, do not ask for a referral in the first message. Ask for a 15 minute chat about the team and the work first, then ask if the conversation goes well.

Who not to ask

Total strangers you have never spoken to, with a message that just says please refer me. These rarely get a reply and put the other person in the awkward position of vouching for someone they do not know.

Make it as easy as possible to pass you on

The person helping you has their own work. The more you prepare, the faster they can help. Send everything in one message:

• The job link or position code
• Your resume tailored to the role, as a PDF
• A 2 to 3 line summary of why you fit, which they can copy and paste

Sample messages

For someone you know well

Hi Ton, hope you are well. I saw your company is hiring a Senior Accountant (link attached). I have 4 years in closing and tax, and I helped move our accounting system to SAP, which seems close to what the team needs. If it is convenient, could you pass my name to HR? I have attached my resume and a short summary. If it is not convenient, no problem at all.

For an alumnus you have not spoken to yet

Hello, my name is Boss, I graduated in accounting from Chulalongkorn six years after you. I saw you work in the Finance team at this company. I am interested in a role in that team. Could I have 15 minutes of your time for a call to ask about the team culture?

Notice that the first message makes it easy to say no, which makes the other person comfortable replying.

After they pass you on

1. Thank them the same day.
2. Apply through the official channel too if the company requires it, and name your referrer.
3. Update them now and then, for example when you get an interview or a rejection.
4. Whatever the result, thank them again at the end.

If they do not reply, or say it is not convenient

If a week passes in silence, send one short follow-up, for example: Hi, just following up on the role I mentioned last week. If you are busy, no worries at all, I will apply through the website for now. If there is still no reply, let it go and apply through the normal channel. Do not chase repeatedly.

If they say it is not convenient, it may be company policy, not knowing your work well enough, or personal reasons. Thank them and do not ask why. A good relationship still matters for the next opportunity, and they may even point you to someone in the team who is a better fit.

What not to do

Do not pressure them to chase the result. Do not ask for inside information or interview questions in advance. And do not ask for referrals to several unrelated roles at the same company, which makes it unclear what you want.

Make it easy to say yes and easy to say no, and people will want to help you more.

How to start

1. Pick 2 to 3 roles you want from the job listings.
2. List people you know at those companies: friends, alumni and former colleagues.
3. Prepare a tailored resume and short summary for each role.
4. Send messages based on the samples, and note who you contacted and when.

Read more about the hidden job market and networking and using your alumni network to find a job.